


A secret

by Morethancupcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Fluff, High School Student Castiel, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Virgin Castiel, nothing remotely sexual here but I'll still tag it underage, pining!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3193535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dean is not proud of it, but sometimes, he checks Sammy's phone. Just to be safe."</p>
<p>Dean spies on Sam, and lears a little more about Castiel. Castiel, captain of the swimming team,  Sam's best friend, his friend. Castiel he's a tiny bit in love with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A secret

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned, it's completely inspired by this :  
> http://gaywrites.org/post/103282930781/icymi-in-which-a-13-year-old-boy-comes-out-to-his
> 
> warning : in this story, Dean checks on Sam, searching his room and his phone because of past drug abuse. If it makes you uncomfortable (spoilers : Sam knows and is completely fine with it), feel free to leave it there :)

Dean is not proud of it, but sometimes, he checks Sammy's phone. Just to be safe.

It had started after the whole Ruby incident. 

Dean Winchester as the one supposed to screw up. He liked to hunt, and to fight, to woo girls and sometimes boys, and he liked to drink. It wasn't a good mix. 

Sammy had been only fourteen, still a baby, and Dean had vowed to protect him at all cost. It had meant driving him to his new school every day, and picking him up in the afternoon. Glaring at that bitch Ruby every chance he got. And driving Sam to his therapy session.

So yeah, Dean isn't proud of it, but he does, from time to time, check on his baby brother. So far nothing of importance. Nothing under his mattress, except a few porn magazines and somes letters. Dean didn't read those. That's completely out of line. What he's doing is... Well, not to the point of reading possible love letters. He can't. He already feels bad for the texts, and all he learns is how big of a nerd Sam is. But he's talking about college, and Dean is happy. He's spending time with a good crowd, now. And Cas.

Castiel, Sam first new friend. At first, Dean had been almost sorry for his brother, seeing him trapped with the weird guy, who was staring too much, didn't understand most of what Dean was saying, and was wearing heavy sweaters and glasses. But that guy turned out to be the definition of awesome, according to the Winchester's brother. Sam's best friend. Castiel is funny, and sharp. He is strong, too, captain of the swimming team, and is actually the one who takes care of Sammy at school, making sure to keep him away from trouble. 

Their texts are all about school, and books. About their friends, and clubs, and things that make Dean feel warm and happy because it's normal, and safe. So yeah, maybe Sam had a little crush on someone, and maybe Castiel is making fun of him for it, but it doesn't seem so bad. So yeah. Safe. 

And he's certainly not checking if there's anything said about Castiel daing anyone. No. Because Dean isn't head over heels for the guy. The guy who's only sixteen, for God's sake. Dean could make a list of all the times he had wanted to punch himself in the face, flirting shamelessly with Cas, only to see him laugh, and damn. He never picked himself for the kind of guy to fall for the school's idol, but there was no Cas at his school, back then. Now he's nineteen, and it's not exactly wrong, but it's totally wrong, the way he watches the other boy, the way he would drool over every inch of Cas' skin - because the guy is ripped. Tan skinned and bed head and glasses in the morning, glasses and his slim frame drowning in Sam's hoodie in the evening. Dean is not only crushing hard and fast, he thinks he might be falling in love with the guy.

Maybe it's the way Castiel listens to him, when they're alone. Maybe it's because Castiel doesn't judge him. Maybe it's the way they can share a bed when Castiel crashed at their place without it being awkward, but just great. Maybe it's the way Castiel laughs silently at the way he fights with Sam in the kitchen. 

He's not even mentioning the bee tattoo on Castiel's biceps, because he still can't picture pure and proper Castiel going to a parlor to get a fucking bee. The guy is mental or incredibly hardcore. Dean has been dreaming of that tattoo.

But yeah. Dean is absolutely not checking Sam's phone for Castiel. He starts from the old ones, messages about homework and essays. About their coach, and Sam's new teacher. Normal. Safe. But then there's something. Sent on Thursday night. Dean remembers how tense Sam has looked, playing with his phone. 

Castiel : "There's something I need to tell you."  
Castiel : "I am actually really upset about it."

Dean is frowning, trying to picture the last time he saw Cas, earlier during the day, dropping them to the swimming pool. He had seemed fine, happy.

Sam : "Do you need me to call ?"

He's smiling at that, because that's Sammy in a nutshell. Always ready to save everyone.

Castiel : "No, thank you Sam. Everyone is here tonight, it wouldn't be wise."  
Castiel : "It's actually really... personnal, and I don't want my brothers to hear anything."

Sam : "What's wrong ?"

Dean sits down, a little afraid of what he's going to read. He feels like the worst friend on earth. Spying on Cas. Cas who couldn't trust him with his secret. He wants to stop reading. He should stop reading. He just can't.

Castiel : "I am telling you this because I value your friendship, Sam. You've always been a wonderful friend to me, and I 

hope... I feel different."  
Castiel : "I don't feel about girls the way I'm supposed to feel, I suppose. I guess it makes me abnormal. I don't know."  
Castiel : " The hardest part is, and I hope I won't lose you as a friend saying this, I believe I am attracted to boys. Men."  
Castiel : "I like boys. I am feeling really ashamed, and I hope you'll still be kind enough to be my friend after this. I was really scared to tell you, because you're my best friend, and I hope you won't ignore me, or leave."

Dean can't help but feeling sorry for the kid. He remembers the first time he came out. Sitting with Sam in the garden, and telling him Aaron was a little more than just a friend. He remembers the cold fear in his gut. He feels even more like a creepy stalker for reading it, but he knows he won't stop here. He can't. And Sam's answer is more or less the same he heard, years ago.

Sam : "Cas, we've been friends for two years, and I'm happy you're trusting me enough to tell me. Who cares about what people are going to say ? You're awesome and you're my friend. Don't be ashamed, there's nothing to be embarassed about. Ain't nothing wrong with being gay, my friend."

Dean can sense there's a private joke here, the words not really Sam's but he's glad. He's glad Cas is okay. He's glad Cas knows he's loved, no matter what.

Dean puts the phone down, and leaves Sammy's room. He feels drained. Tonight is movie night, John and Mary being away for the week end, Dean is in charge or everything. Might as well start with the cooking.

When the doorbell rings, it's just Castiel waiting outside.

"Sam is actually at my place, he decided to spend the night with Gabriel, while he's home." Oh yeah, Gabriel, Castiel's big brother. Funny guy. Dean is frowning, because he made enough food for an army, and he picked movies, and he's a little confused here.

"And so you're here ?" Castiel stops, suddenly rigid. His overnight bag is at his feet, and he was removing his scarf. He's suddenly red and searching his words.

"Well, yes... I thought.. I mean, I believed we could still. But yes, I guess you have better things to do." He's frowning, and putting his coat baxk on. "I'm sorry, of course, Dean. I'll just go back, don't worry."

"Hey ! Hey!" He grabs Castiel's arms, and he feels like something big, something bigger than before is right here between them. Maybe it's in the way he's suddenly lost in blue. Maybe it's the way he can see Castiel's pulse on his thorat, knowing he's a little out of breath, too. "You know I'm happy to have you here. Don't be silly, I made a ton of food, and we get to pick the movies we like." Cas' smile is hesitant, and Dean just beams at him. He loves not having to share his friend's attention with anyone. "How about I bring the snacks and you pick the first one ?"

"Okay." He feels like Castiel is like the sun. So bright he can still see his smile in the other room, even with his eyes closed.

 

Castiel took a shower at the pool, but he still smells faintly of chlorine mixed with soap. Dean is addicted to it. He might have given his own hoodie to Cas on purpose, not only because he makes him feel possessive and happy to see the other boy in his clothes, but because he knows tomorrow it'll smell like him, and he'll wear it until it fades away.

Yeah, he's completely gone.

They're sitting together, watching a horror movie Dean would certainly find terrifying if he could take his eyes away from the boy next to him. He wishes he had thought about turning off the light.

"You're staring, Dean." Pop corn flying in the air. Dean manages to at least look ashamed. "Is it about the texts ?"

Wait, what ? He's looking at Cas with huge eyes. The other boy is smiling, looking confident, except... The only thing giving him away is his teeth worrying his bottom lip. 

"What texts ?"

"Come on. You checked Sam's phone, like every Friday during practice." Dean is trying to find a lie, anything to cover himself up, but Castiel chuckles. "Dean, why do you think he leaves his phone without a lock on his room ? He knows about it, and he gets it, don't worry. We know it makes you feel better."

"You.. You know ? I mean..." Dean breathes in and out. Trying to figure it out. "Sam is okay with it ?"

"Sam loves you, Dean. He knows you worry about him." Castiel kneels on the floor to clean the kernels on the rug. "I'm not saying he's overhjoyed with the idea of you reading his messages, but he needs you to believe is okay now. And I told him you would stop, eventually."

Dean is too shocked to say anything, and Castiel pats him on the head before sitting back on the couch.

"So you know... I know." Smooth, Winchester.

"Yes." 

"And you know I'm cool with it, right ?" Castiel's smile is a little less hesitant, but still so freaking sweet Dean wants to punch him. And then kiss him. 

"Yes, but it's always nice to hear it." Dean loses himself in the blue eyes. He knows there's no way Cas will ignore what's in his eyes. The hope, and the want, and the fact he can't, but he can't stop and... "You need to know something else, Dean."

"Yeah ?"

"I think I'm in love with you." Castiel is moving toward him, and Dean is too busy not having a heart attack to care. Fingers are running through his hair, cupping his head. "And I think you're in love with me." His lips are ghosting over his cheek, over his lips. 

"You think so ?" Right at this moment, Dean realizes Cas is fucking hardcore, and he's so in love with him.

"Hmm hmm." They're not really kissing, but their lips are touching, and Dean can feel Castiel's breath in his mouth, and he's dizzy, drunk on Cas. Cas, who is sixteen, Goddamn it. "The question is, Dean." The first kiss, and Dean moans against him. It's chaste, and sweet, and fucking perfect. "You want to know what it is, Dean ?"

"Yes." If Dean Winchester was a stronger man, he would feel shame for the trembling moan.

"Are you going to wait for me ?" Castiel is kissing him now. A real kiss. Screaming mine, and want, and need. Dean Winchester is claimed, and damn if he is not enjoying every minute of it. "Two years, Dean." Castiel is whispering against his lips. "We just have to be careful for two years, and then..."

"Then ..." His hands are holding the other boy, his boyfriend, because fuck if Castiel thinks he's free now. This claiming things goes both way. He ravaging his neck, and couldn't care less about leaving marks. 

"You'll just have to wait and see."

 

Later, when they've cooled down a bit, Castiel not ready for anything too wild, and Dean not ready period, they whisper and share kisses in the dark, a new movie starting in front of them.

"Is this why you came here tonight ? You knew it was going to happen ?" Castiel chuckles against his skin, and Dean giggles, feeling so fucking happy.

"Sam and I decided it was time to stop being cowards and finally try." Dean snorts and tries to picture Samatha giving relationship advices to Cas. The whole thing is hilarious.

"Sam ? What is Sam... "And suddenly it's all very clear "Hell no ! Gabriel ? Really ?" Castiel is grabbing him, running his fingers on his back to calm him down. He had been quick to learn the best ways to make him purr and as inoffensive as a house cat.

"You have to admit he always had a thing for troublemakers."

"Yes ! But..." It's hard to concentrate when Cas' fingers are playing on his skin, now petting his stomach. "He's like, so old !"

"He's a year older than you are Dean. Stop being obtuse." Castiel is nipping at his jaw, and it's really hard to stay mad. 

"Sam knows his limits, and Gabriel is a good guy. They'll figure it out."

"I'm going to puke if we keep talking about Samantha's love life." He burrows his head in Cas' neck, and tries to find in himself to be worried for Sam, but he isn't. He knows Gabriel. He's a good guy. He'll take care of his little brother. And yeah, it's probably weird to think he's dating Gabe's little brother, too, but hey. He's happy, and content, and warm. He won't change this for anything in the world. "I have a secret, Cas." He's whispering against his skin. "I haven't told anyone before, and I hope it'll change things between us."

"Really ?" The younger boy his tugging at his shirt, wanting them to be even closer, and Dean can only shiver thinking he's going to go to sleep holding Cas. He can't wait. "What is it, Dean ?"

"I love you." He kisses a collarbone, the side of a neck, lips waiting for him. "I love you."


End file.
